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From the Editor: Welcome to The Slingshot.

5 May 2009

J. Moriarty Clench, Esq., Editor of The Slingshot.

It is with profound satisfaction and a gratifying sense of triumph over the machinations of evil men that I take up my pen as Editor of this first issue of the New Series of The Slingshot, the Great British Magazine for Young Chaps. Since its first appearance in a not-distant year, The Slingshot has established itself as the Magazine of Choice for all discerning and enterprising Young Chaps in Great Britain, the Empire, and Beyond. With this New Series of the Magazine, untrammelled by the burdens of financial liabilities incurred in the past, that reputation will be upheld; as before, within the pages of The Slingshot readers will thrill to stories of Adventure, learn fascinating Facts about the world around them, grapple with mind-expanding Puzzles and Games, and absorb sound Advice and bold moral Exhortation. Be sure you have your copy of The Slingshot every month — fold it into your Knapsack — pack it in your Sea-Chest — thrust it playfully down a pal’s Shorts.

Now is not the time to pursue the hard-working Staff and Publishers of this Magazine with past grievances and demands for money. Charges of questionable business practices and financial mismanagement must be swept aside and forgotten, ongoing legal proceedings must be suspended, so that all may join in hailing The Slingshot as, once more, a Fine Influence on Our Nation’s Youth.

The Slingshot will continue to uphold the values of Patriotism, Hard Work, Clean Living and Fair Play that ever flourish beneath the British Flag and in the breast of every Young Briton. The world must own that the propagation of these values is too important a matter to be put at risk for the sake of a few unpaid bills.

— J. Moriarty Clench,


How Not to Get Lost.

13 May 2009

Moving around from place to place is something all healthy young chaps like to do. Yet when gaily relocating yourselves with the use of your legs and other bodily parts, do you and your friends stop to consider the risks of placing yourselves in an inappropriate or incorrect location?

Explorers, soldiers, missionaries and others have travelled widely to ensure the greatness of our Nation and if we pay attention we can learn the lessons of Not Getting Lost from their experience. Even when they appear to have got lost, more often than not it has been merely a strategem to ensure that the maximum amount of territory is brought beneath the British Flag. Foreigners frequently get lost, Great Britons never do. In this article, based on wide consultation with Great British Experts in Not Getting Lost, we intend to give you the benefits of an unrivalled and soundly-based ability Not to Get Lost. Once you have read this article and the accompanying book (available from all good booksellers), you need never get lost again.

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Advertisement: Your Own Volcano

13 May 2009

The London Stromboli Company: Your Own Volcano.

Bristler of the Yard. A Ripping Story of Detection.

5 May 2009

By Hengist Marimba.

"I will have a small bottle of your deadliest poison please, Mr. Godbold," declared Mrs. Savident in a most decided voice.

"I will have a small bottle of your deadliest poison please, Mr. Godbold," declared Mrs. Savident in a most decided voice.

“I will have a small bottle of your most deadly poison please, Mr. Godbold,” declared Mrs. Savident in a most decided voice.

“Gawd luv us, Missus,” responded the chemist, reaching under his counter and producing a small dark bottle, “you’ll be careful, won’t yer? ‘Tis terrible potent stuff, Missus. Kill yer stone dead in seckonds, it will.”

“Thank you, Mr. Godbold, I am very aware of the dangers and I assure you that I will be most careful.”

“You will ‘ave to fill in the Deadly Poisons Record Book, Missus, on account of you purchasing that there deadly poison.”

Mrs. Savident quickly filled in the necessary details, paid Mr. Godbold, wished him a good morning and left the shop, bottle in hand.

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